Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Pregnancy Illusions
Have you seen things being visualized infront of you when you are pregnant or when you are asleep and awake in the middle of yr sleep....of course they can be your unended dream but they are strange...
Before i became pregnant with my child, i use to see Swami's form in the morning skies. I have seen, Gold, orange and last was greyish (and also a lingam)....i was very skeptical with His greyish form...but the best part was when i first opened my internet in the morning, and there came our Swami's form greyish in black and white picture by SBOI....i knew Swami was affirming that all colors are His...well then i became pergnant...it started...i started seeing Swami's form on the glass of the cupboards - He will be sitting and moving...then once i saw both Shirdi and Swami's form behind the curtain....i try to wake my husband to tell him what i was seeing...but my husband can't. Once right before Ramnavami, i changed room, thought it may be better, i saw the form of Shirdi in statue and and right infront of Shirdi, was sitted a long slim man with matted lock...the beautiful part was there was a blue aura around this man's head (i could only see his back view, not front) and he was indeed very long....when i saw this, i thought i was imagining ( i was still lying down), i closed my eyes ( i thought they would disappear), and when i reopened them...great they were still there and nearer...!!i also saw people sneaking into my room (when there was none), garden materializing infront of me....Swami in the mirror...bed shaking...and the other one was as i was lying down sleepng side ways - a loud sound of AUM being chanted near my stomach...this time i jerked...i thought i had enough and thought i was going mad...first it was my eyes and now my ears...i had palpitation....at the end of my 9th month ---exactly...suddenly i woke up, i saw this dark form (fully black) (couldn't see the front face), was big and the back was facing me...at the foot of my bed. I was frantically trying to wake my husband who was sleeping at the other end of my bed. He was waking up very slowly....in between, this figure was slowly moving (or walking ) further away, towards our cupboards....it had a huge dark figure, platted hair...black saree with reed border (at that point of time, i thought it was a ghost)...and suddenly the figure became one with the black colour of darkness at the cupboard area...i was wide awake at that time....by the time my husband asked my why, it was gone....my heart rate was giong up....i slept....this time i saw the figure in my dream fron facing me...but i could not see the face but all her jewelleries (which i did not see earlier)...adn it was a she...she told me that everything was over...in hinduism's pantheon of God we have this Goddess whom we pray after giving birth...i realized taht the next day....right after work i drove straight to the temple...lo behold!!! The Goddess was wearing the same saree....black with red border and she was black and huge....after that dream i didn't visualize that badly....but during birth.....all this took up alot of my sleep...i use to be afraid to sleep...to get a good sleep was a boon...i guess it was because of all this, that i had high blood pressure during labour...but everything has a reason...if anyone had this kind of experience...do share..
Before i became pregnant with my child, i use to see Swami's form in the morning skies. I have seen, Gold, orange and last was greyish (and also a lingam)....i was very skeptical with His greyish form...but the best part was when i first opened my internet in the morning, and there came our Swami's form greyish in black and white picture by SBOI....i knew Swami was affirming that all colors are His...well then i became pergnant...it started...i started seeing Swami's form on the glass of the cupboards - He will be sitting and moving...then once i saw both Shirdi and Swami's form behind the curtain....i try to wake my husband to tell him what i was seeing...but my husband can't. Once right before Ramnavami, i changed room, thought it may be better, i saw the form of Shirdi in statue and and right infront of Shirdi, was sitted a long slim man with matted lock...the beautiful part was there was a blue aura around this man's head (i could only see his back view, not front) and he was indeed very long....when i saw this, i thought i was imagining ( i was still lying down), i closed my eyes ( i thought they would disappear), and when i reopened them...great they were still there and nearer...!!i also saw people sneaking into my room (when there was none), garden materializing infront of me....Swami in the mirror...bed shaking...and the other one was as i was lying down sleepng side ways - a loud sound of AUM being chanted near my stomach...this time i jerked...i thought i had enough and thought i was going mad...first it was my eyes and now my ears...i had palpitation....at the end of my 9th month ---exactly...suddenly i woke up, i saw this dark form (fully black) (couldn't see the front face), was big and the back was facing me...at the foot of my bed. I was frantically trying to wake my husband who was sleeping at the other end of my bed. He was waking up very slowly....in between, this figure was slowly moving (or walking ) further away, towards our cupboards....it had a huge dark figure, platted hair...black saree with reed border (at that point of time, i thought it was a ghost)...and suddenly the figure became one with the black colour of darkness at the cupboard area...i was wide awake at that time....by the time my husband asked my why, it was gone....my heart rate was giong up....i slept....this time i saw the figure in my dream fron facing me...but i could not see the face but all her jewelleries (which i did not see earlier)...adn it was a she...she told me that everything was over...in hinduism's pantheon of God we have this Goddess whom we pray after giving birth...i realized taht the next day....right after work i drove straight to the temple...lo behold!!! The Goddess was wearing the same saree....black with red border and she was black and huge....after that dream i didn't visualize that badly....but during birth.....all this took up alot of my sleep...i use to be afraid to sleep...to get a good sleep was a boon...i guess it was because of all this, that i had high blood pressure during labour...but everything has a reason...if anyone had this kind of experience...do share..
Dream in March-April 2007
Well pertaining the earlier post, i would like to share what happened somewhere back in 2007. Our family planned a visit to see Swami. So all excited...i was not too sure cause i didn't get any call. Worried with mix feelings. Then one of the nights i had this dream.... (at that time i didn't own any house). It was in a house, a little away from the mainstreet, Swami came with somebody (man) wearing all white. I was hiding from an inner room an watching Him. No idea why i was hiding. Then Swami sat on a rocking chair and He was reading a reading material. I took this chance, and sowly crept to Him and touched His feet. Again, i did the same thing the same way and the third time...i did...lo behold...his toes doubled. They seemed to split into two...i was shocked. And all while along the act, Swami did not look at me. Afte that dream, i realized that Swami may not entertain me when i see Him...it was quite true...i just saw His eyes looking at me (am not sure if He looked behind me) but never entertained...but by the end of 2007, i was pregnant. So i was wondering if that dream actually told me that i was going to get pregnant (when His toes split into two)......way before that dream....i had another dream, where i was in a house and heard waiting for Swami's arrival...i was upstairs....Suddenly youthful Swami (young and in gurta) appeared infront of me (lavitating in the thin air)...He was smiling at me (could still remember that scene)...He was like stopping me from going to see His physical body...but i brushed that appearance and rushed downstairs....Swami came...old and fragile...He looked so serious, bent....then suddenly when i saw His hand-fingers...i was asking Him Swami...why...you have gone so old...the dream ended there...it was as though Swami was telling me...that you will see me more in visions...don't go after His physical...dream looks real but during real it sounds unreal....but experience becomes dream after that moment...looks like both are dreams that you will never understand..........
How in time....Sai Spiritual Showers - Issue 15-4-2010; Read this;-
“Are dreams real?” has always been a contentious subject. When it comes to a dream featuring Bhagawan, can the same be unreal? Answering this question, Bhagawan calls it a ‘relative reality’ as distinct from absolute reality. Read on an account from S.Sankar, a Summer Course student of 1978, analysing Sai dreams, wherein Bhagawan Himself comes with clarification through a dream seaquence, as published in Sanathana Sarathi, May, 1979. I have some kind of disbelief in the dreams I see of Bhagawan. Still, I am inclined to view half heartedly and suspiciously, the veracity of such dreams, unless confirmed by Him (in which case I ask no questions!). One simple reason for this is that most of the dreams have been unfulfilled. So, I convinced myself that the dreams I saw (those of others may be different) were merely those of wish fulfillment and no relevance whatsoever to the reality. Another reason is that most dreams have soothed me and comforted me, that is, they occurred in the way I would have wished them to occur. So I was further convinced. This was only a manifestation of my own dream consciousness, asserting its authority in the dream world, though it could not move a blade of grass in the sensuous world. Moreover, a good part of my consciousness was filled with Bhagawan, and, so, if I had to dream, the probability of dreaming about Him was high. Such dreams would be natural phenomena, and not explicitly the result of His Sankalpa. But another thing which struck me very much, and which, I discovered to my great discomfiture only recently was that I never could dream without `myself' being present in it, in some form! Either I was present as the central figure, (as in most cases) or at least as a spectator. However, I am yet to come across a single person, who has dreamt—without being present, in some way, or without being connected in any way—in the dream. That is why Bhagawan has said: `I' is the identity that PERSISTS in sleep, dream and waking. And since Patanjali has called Samadhi, "experience without dreams" it is well nigh impossible, and if ever it occurs, it would be in the highest stage of spiritual evolution, and I am not in that, I know only too well! The same thing also happens in our thought, sleep...etc. I can't visualise anything in the cosmos without ME! Either as spectator or as something else, because 'I' am the identity that will PERSIST everywhere, at all times! This is also a sign of the ego or whatever may be left in us, of it, after having been cut to size by HIM. However, I did dream another one last week, which I was forced to believe because of its extraordinary nature. I will `censor' the "wish fulfillment" part which in any case will centre around my EGO, and tell you the more interesting part. Though I have always been speaking, thinking ...of Swami for nearly 9 months, (after the summer course), I never had a Sai dream, not even one of wish fulfillment during this period. On the particular day, I was not quite well, and so, incidentally, I had less time to think of Swami than on other days, comparatively. Yet, the dream did come after 8 months nearly. I saw amidst other things, Bhagawan, on the first floor of our house, in my "study-cum Puja" room. He was sitting on my chair, besides my table which was full of papers and trash. I was standing up. The first question I asked Him was: "Bhagawan when I am with you (i.e., in Parthi), I am alright, but, when I come here (to Trivandurm) I am not at all well. See the state of table, dirty and disorderly, could you not find a way out of this impasse, please?" Bhagawan: "Yes, Yes, that is why I have come" Myself: "Bhagawan, I have composed so many songs on you. What is your opinion about them, are they good? Bhagawan: (Love is vibrant in His voice, to quote Mr. Murphet) "Why are you asking such a question? Was it not I who gave those songs to you? Then what is the meaning of your question? (I am silenced for a moment) Myself: "You seem so close to me now, and so loving, but when I come there, sometimes you do not see me, you are so neglectful, why do you do this?" Bhagawan: "Why do you ask such things? How can I neglect anyone'? After all I and you are one and the same. Then is it proper to speak of neglect here? Do you think so? (Baba continues) You must know to discriminate between the real and the unreal. Now, there is dream. As a dream, it is real, but as otherwise, it is not. This is relative reality. as distinct from original reality (Probably the word was absolute reality). You think the world you see around you is real. No, it is only relatively real. The true reality can be perceived only by the ATMA, Remember. I must confess I cannot disbelieve such dreams easily, because of the depth of thought involved therein. Moreover, this dream's course was not charted by me, it went in a surprising direction
“Are dreams real?” has always been a contentious subject. When it comes to a dream featuring Bhagawan, can the same be unreal? Answering this question, Bhagawan calls it a ‘relative reality’ as distinct from absolute reality. Read on an account from S.Sankar, a Summer Course student of 1978, analysing Sai dreams, wherein Bhagawan Himself comes with clarification through a dream seaquence, as published in Sanathana Sarathi, May, 1979. I have some kind of disbelief in the dreams I see of Bhagawan. Still, I am inclined to view half heartedly and suspiciously, the veracity of such dreams, unless confirmed by Him (in which case I ask no questions!). One simple reason for this is that most of the dreams have been unfulfilled. So, I convinced myself that the dreams I saw (those of others may be different) were merely those of wish fulfillment and no relevance whatsoever to the reality. Another reason is that most dreams have soothed me and comforted me, that is, they occurred in the way I would have wished them to occur. So I was further convinced. This was only a manifestation of my own dream consciousness, asserting its authority in the dream world, though it could not move a blade of grass in the sensuous world. Moreover, a good part of my consciousness was filled with Bhagawan, and, so, if I had to dream, the probability of dreaming about Him was high. Such dreams would be natural phenomena, and not explicitly the result of His Sankalpa. But another thing which struck me very much, and which, I discovered to my great discomfiture only recently was that I never could dream without `myself' being present in it, in some form! Either I was present as the central figure, (as in most cases) or at least as a spectator. However, I am yet to come across a single person, who has dreamt—without being present, in some way, or without being connected in any way—in the dream. That is why Bhagawan has said: `I' is the identity that PERSISTS in sleep, dream and waking. And since Patanjali has called Samadhi, "experience without dreams" it is well nigh impossible, and if ever it occurs, it would be in the highest stage of spiritual evolution, and I am not in that, I know only too well! The same thing also happens in our thought, sleep...etc. I can't visualise anything in the cosmos without ME! Either as spectator or as something else, because 'I' am the identity that will PERSIST everywhere, at all times! This is also a sign of the ego or whatever may be left in us, of it, after having been cut to size by HIM. However, I did dream another one last week, which I was forced to believe because of its extraordinary nature. I will `censor' the "wish fulfillment" part which in any case will centre around my EGO, and tell you the more interesting part. Though I have always been speaking, thinking ...of Swami for nearly 9 months, (after the summer course), I never had a Sai dream, not even one of wish fulfillment during this period. On the particular day, I was not quite well, and so, incidentally, I had less time to think of Swami than on other days, comparatively. Yet, the dream did come after 8 months nearly. I saw amidst other things, Bhagawan, on the first floor of our house, in my "study-cum Puja" room. He was sitting on my chair, besides my table which was full of papers and trash. I was standing up. The first question I asked Him was: "Bhagawan when I am with you (i.e., in Parthi), I am alright, but, when I come here (to Trivandurm) I am not at all well. See the state of table, dirty and disorderly, could you not find a way out of this impasse, please?" Bhagawan: "Yes, Yes, that is why I have come" Myself: "Bhagawan, I have composed so many songs on you. What is your opinion about them, are they good? Bhagawan: (Love is vibrant in His voice, to quote Mr. Murphet) "Why are you asking such a question? Was it not I who gave those songs to you? Then what is the meaning of your question? (I am silenced for a moment) Myself: "You seem so close to me now, and so loving, but when I come there, sometimes you do not see me, you are so neglectful, why do you do this?" Bhagawan: "Why do you ask such things? How can I neglect anyone'? After all I and you are one and the same. Then is it proper to speak of neglect here? Do you think so? (Baba continues) You must know to discriminate between the real and the unreal. Now, there is dream. As a dream, it is real, but as otherwise, it is not. This is relative reality. as distinct from original reality (Probably the word was absolute reality). You think the world you see around you is real. No, it is only relatively real. The true reality can be perceived only by the ATMA, Remember. I must confess I cannot disbelieve such dreams easily, because of the depth of thought involved therein. Moreover, this dream's course was not charted by me, it went in a surprising direction
Monday, April 12, 2010
All these dreams started when i was about 5-6 year old...since small, i used to goto balavikas but not that consistent though! But the connection stated then...everynow and then Baba would come in my dream but He would not talk!....Look and go...smile and go...stare and go...but i knew it was Sathya Sai Baba....i was quite a naughty teenager who talk back whenever there was a wrong judgement (from my view)...i was a notorious child...and often got my self into terrible confrontations....Despite all things something separated me from my family...i never felt the 'familyness' and this lead me to Swami...i started reading Swami's books...buying his books...reading Shiva Pranams, Ramayana, Mahabaratha, Yogananda, The Lemurian Scrolls and many more...i was hungry for more...and this was guiding my inner beig to change...to calm my boiling hormones....i was using whatever i learnt to control my thoughts and anger...sometimes i let them just go freely....i tried meditation...at one point when i gave up...Swami came in my dream and gave me a stare...ha ha..to say the He was not pleased with me...but i continued with all my small- small sadhana....i never had the chance to attend much camps out there..so i was confined to limited to books....so when i had not much of books to entertain me...i would imagine doing abhishegam to Gods in person by singing bhajans aloud while mentally performing the poojas. I made it a point to conduct this mansika pooja every week....Everynight when i get into ectasy in singing Swami's songs...Swami would come in the dreams...smiling....Err...although i enjoyed all these...not all in my family believed in me...caused they thought i was imagining this or could be that after reading to much of material it got projected in my dreams (well could be- who knows).....Swami started talking in my dreams...when i entered varsity after joining the Sai society there....that is when He started communicating, giving padamnamaskars...advising etc.
I never liked my childhood and my days at my varsity that much...but i do love the spiritual metarmorphosis that took place from my childhood till today...it's magnificient....everything had a reason...Swami made me far from my family member so that i would be close to Him - to build 'that' foundation in me....i guess it did....but there is a long way to go...and i don't know when it will stop......now...i am using all my experience to nuture my child....expecting my child to be useful towards the society under the name of Sai....this journey is a continuous journey....a never ending story.
I never liked my childhood and my days at my varsity that much...but i do love the spiritual metarmorphosis that took place from my childhood till today...it's magnificient....everything had a reason...Swami made me far from my family member so that i would be close to Him - to build 'that' foundation in me....i guess it did....but there is a long way to go...and i don't know when it will stop......now...i am using all my experience to nuture my child....expecting my child to be useful towards the society under the name of Sai....this journey is a continuous journey....a never ending story.
EArly 2009
This was an interesting dream that i want to share. Well we had some well wishers suggesting us to enroll our child in Swami's school. We were unsure and not confident as our child was not a vegetarian and not that well versed in manthras and was wondering how well would he do during the entrance exam. So i prayed to Swami that night and asked Him to guide. In that dream that night, morning i would say...Swami was walking with me along a corrider with archs. He looked young and very active....i told Swami that our family was waiting and if we could take picture with Him and He said no no...with a smile...then we joined the family members at the waiting area....(looked like an ancient building)...there Swami looked at my child...and told me.."Look your child is so thin, i wanted the child to get married" ...i was laughing away...at the thought of my child who was just 4 getting married...i was having an ignorance laugh actually...not understanding Swami's inner meaning of His words....then Swami mentioned something that i can't recall..and He applied some vibhuthi on my child's forehead and on another child too ( am not sure who was that)...and suprisingly...we took a family photo after that :)....then later i got to know that 'marriage' means binding to spiritual life....so i then later i understood that my child is not ready yet and was not spiritually fit for it yet. So then i decided...untill the next call from Swami, i will not decide anything in this issue.
6th April, 2010
The dream was nice. It was like in a darshan hall (i have never been to Parthi), quite small and congested. All were mahilas. i went into the hall with my 3 year old daughter and sat there in the crowd (quite near to Swami). Then suddenly a lady in black came infront of Swami and appologized saying that 'Sorry Swami, i came in 3/4 pants, i will change later after the performance'...she was wearing all Black! Then i realized, i was wearing a 3/4 pants too!! I immediately got up and appologized to Swami and told him that i was leaving. Swami said, 'No it's okay, sit down and watch this performance, very nice then you can leave'....and i happily sat down....but after this dream i faced argument at home with some family members of mine...and at the same time... a few hours after the dream, i received a news that Indonesia was struck with earthquake......i just don't understand the meaning of this dream...yet!
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